dude where are we
by mattgoodson
Summary: me and sean get sucked into the cirque du feakverse and sean gets some halo shitttt! so read it its gonna be comedy and such so yea peace apples


**_Hey guys. This is Matt and Sean here. I have read the Cirque du freak series. Sean has not. So we are doing a self insertion into it so that we decided was a good idea. By the way if you haven't seen the movie for cirque du freak yet, DON'T WATCH IT! It is terribly horrible. Well onto the story. we dont own the damn books "and the part u didnt see is when he kicked out the head lights poured sugar into the gas tank and yelled yo mother fuck the police."_**

**Matt's POV**

We were just sittin' there. Sean and I were just sitting I was reading my book, Sean, Playing Halo. That is when something strange happened. One second i was reading something about Mr. Crepsley hanging from a chain the next thing i knew Both me and Sean were in the cave _with _Mr. Crepsley. The most strange thing was that Sean was wearing spartan armor from halo. His Black with red secondary coloring also came with a battle rifle and a shotgun. Mr. Crepsley was still hanging by the chain and nobody seemed to notice us yet. I was still in shock from what had just happened so i was in a trance until Sean said "What's with the motherfucker on the chain." I snapped out of it and responded with "Get him down...NOW!" Sean immediately sprang into action by shooting at the chain with his shotgun while running and jumping across the pit of spikes. Catching Larten on the way across. He landed on the other side but all the vampaneze went into action. I jumped into action too. I realized that i had superhuman strength and shit. I had shurikens and my fingernails were incredibly bladelike...And really...Fucking...SHARP. I was flipping around cuttin' and shanking people while Sean went batshit with his shotgun.

**Sean's POV**

I was blow heads open and knockin bitches faces open but there was this weird ass voice goin **"HEADSHOT" **or **"BEATDOWN." **After a little while they stopped coming so i had nuthin to do so i decided to throw a recovery to heal chain guy's hand. I then turned to matt and said "dude what the fuck was that bull shit about there genius face?" he says "c'mon hes the main character." Now i know the little shit is on the good stuff. So i tell him "you stole my shit didn't you?" he replies "all of it,or at least i think so" i continue with "damn it that was gonna get me laid." then i add "no seriously what the fuck is goin on man?"

**Matt's POV**

Okay well i explained that I think we got sucked into the Cirque du freak book somehow. And since Sean was playing halo when we were, He got the Spartan armor and weapons. But all i fucking got was stupid super strength, Sharp fingernails, Shurikens, AND SOME FUCKING CRAZY GOOD AIM WITH THEM BITCHES! While i was explaining this whole thing we were on our way out of the sewer/cave. When we got out i saw above us some fucking flying ship thing. That is when i realized...ITS A FUCKING PELICAN!

**Sean's POV**

i looked up and saw it gray steel all over probably loaded with ammo and vehicles i had to take my helmet and wipe a tear from my eye "it's beautiful" i sniff.

**Matt's POV**

After we all loaded up in the pelican we were locked and loaded. Especially Sean. He was like in heaven or something. Guns, Were his weed. So now we had transportation to help up find steve, Futuristic shit to kill things with, And we had superior numbers. We were all just chilling on the ship when some really hot chick came in. I mean REALLY REALY HOT. She went over to talk to Sean and i gotta admit, I was jealous as hell. I heard her wisper something in his ear, and Heard him murmur something about alien killing genetic babies. Then they left the room. I didn't see him for a couple hours. When he came back, He looked really fucked up. I don't know what happened. But i think...Sean got laid. A few hours later we landed in Ohio. I don't know what the hell we were doing there but, Hey, it looked cool. And i believe Sean had the urge to blow some shit up. When we were walking around in Ohio we found a couple of people staring at us weirdly but then there was this sexy chick that walked by. She looked at me as thought we had known eachother our whole lives. I tapped sean on the shoulder and said "Come with me. Now." I turned around and followed the Beautiful woman back into a warehouse thing. It was like god was telling me to fuck her. Then Sean said "This ones yours" I said " Excuse me, Miss. But are you lost? This doesn't seem like your regular line of work or living place." She responded with, "Why do you want to know? Are you looking for some work like this?" She asked and i was unsure what she meant by "Work like this." I decided now would be a good time to walk away when Sean said, "Dude, Check out that ass. You can't walk away from something like that." I figured he was right so i walked back over and he followed. While i said some shit to make myself sound interested Sean just stood, smiled, and nodded while i was lying through my teeth. She dragged me into a room and began to undress. _YES! _Before i could get up to undress myself she was done. She pushed me over and shoved her breasts in my face. Then...Well let's just leave it at that. You can guess what happened after that. Finally i left her and went back up and out to where everybody was waiting for me. Except Sean of course. He was out clubbing. So for the next few hours, i slept. When Sean finally arrived (2 days later!) We all got in the pelican and flew off to meet with the rest of the crew and to save the day...BUM BUM FRIKIN BUM!


End file.
